Why it is wrong to ask the girl to cover:

1. The definitions and “limits” defined in your family, about what is right for the girl, is different from what is defined in another family. The son who witnesses the girl being asked to cover, takes that as the right way of dressing and looks at the other girl who doesn’t fit in that definition as “exposing”. This is not in your control. No matter how well covered your daughter is, because the boy from whom your daughter is in danger, is from another household where the definitions were different from yours, from minor differences to major differences due to socioeconomic or religious or regional differences, he might think that your daughter needs to be taught.
2. I am appalled at the ignorance some people show in using the words. One of the tweeters tweeted that “middle class” are concerned about the safety (and what the daughters wear). Why only the middle class? what about the upper middle class or the upper class or the lower class? Are they sending their daughters out to get themselves raped?
3. But in a way this brings out one important point, which is my first point anyway, that the definitions in the households differ. The problem with the children from the progressive families is that they were raised with very different definitions, though in a good way, from the prevailing definitions of the society. This causes them confusions and sometimes puts them in danger. Now this creates a vicious cycle that, it supports the theory of asking the girl to cover, as the society is not safe for them. Now, go back and read my first point. No matter how well covered your daughter is, someone from another household might think otherwise. That is not in your control. However, what IS in your control is that, not letting your son developing into the one from whom somebody else’s daughter should keep herself safe. You may not agree that *your* son will become one of those offenders. I am sure no one in the whole country or the whole world teaches their son to BE a rapist, or offender in a public transport or public places. Yet those men do do those. They are from some family too, whose parents wouldn’t have thought that their sons would grow up to become offenders. When the boy repeatedly hears the girl is being asked to cover herself, he develops the idea that the girl is supposed to cover herself, otherwise it is her fault. You see the evidences in tweets and on FB today. So, if you have a son, what you CAN do is not letting him hear that it is the girl who is supposed to cover and keep herself safe from getting raped. This is in your control. If you do not have a son, helping someone else’s son in his earshot not hear asking the girl to cover is very much in your control. When you are saying it on the internet, you have to be even more sensible that, you are not intentionally or unintentionally contributing in making someone to develop into a rapist/offender by not saying that it was the girl who should have covered better and stayed safer. This is very much in your control. Before asking our daughters and sons to be sensible, let us evaluate whether we are being sensible ourselves first. Only this can provide a safer society.

Big social changes can come from some changes in law and enforcement. There are many suggestions floating around on the internet, so, I am going to stop by saying Police officers should be punished if a rape crime goes unpunished. Eve teasing should be identified as a crime too. As I said before, there are many more better suggestions by others, so I am going to stop here.


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